Thursday, April 16, 2009
"Momma Said There Would Be Days Like This"
As a few of you know, Will and I have been pursuing adoption through our foster care agency. About a month ago we received a referral for a 2 year old little boy and a 1 year old little girl. They are brother and sister. We got a letter in the mail yesterday saying that we were not the chosen family for these children. All I knew to do was cry. It is so weird how we get attached to 2 children that we never even met. It was a very rough night for us. Sometimes it feels like we are sooo close, and then it gets snatched from us. We will just have to keep trusting that God will reveal His plan in His time. The waiting part is the hardest. But as I was told by a good friend the other day.... "If you trust in God and you seek Him with all your heart, the results will not leave you disappointed." So true. Sometimes it is just not easy to have faith. But, I know in my heart that God has a very special plan for Will and I. We might as well enjoy the time we have now together before children come into the picture. :) Then, there won't be as much of that time together. :)
Monday, April 13, 2009
"Always"
Read the lyrics to this song. This song is sung by an awesome contemporary Christian group called Building 429. We were in the car this weekend and this song came on. It was the first time that I had ever heard it. The only thing I knew to do was to cry and cry. This song has a very powerful message!
"ALWAYS"
I was standing in the pouring rain one dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold when she caught my eye
Her face was taught and her eyes were filled, and to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph and my heart just stopped inside
She said, “He would’ve been three today
I miss his smile, I miss his face”
What was I supposed to say, but
CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always
He was living in a broken world, dreaming of a home
His heart was barely keeping pace when I found him all alone
Remembering the way he felt when his daddy said goodbye
Fighting just to keep the tears and the anger locked inside
He’s barely holding onto faith
But deliverance is on its way, cause
CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always
Friend, I don’t know where you are and I don’t know where you’ve been
Maybe you’re fighting for your life or just about to throw the towel in
But if you’re crying out for mercy, if there’s no hope left at all
If you’ve given everything you’ve got and you’re still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on, cause
I believe always, always
Our savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
Always, always, He will be with you always
Have you ever wanted something so bad, and it seemed as if you would never get it? If you know me and Will, you know that that thing we want so badly is a child. Sometimes it seems as if we will never ever get the opportunity to be a parent. When I hear about teens getting pregnant, or when I see moms with 5 kids and 1 on the way, not being able to take care of the children they already have, or when I hear of mom's that are pregnant when they can't even take the responsibility to take care of themselves...it makes me so angry and hurt. I have found myself angry at God many time. Why is He giving all these unfit mothers the gift that I have wanted since I was a little girl?!?!? Why is it we get all these adoption referrals, and they all fall through??? WHY!!?? This has really been a hard thing for both of us lately. I say all that not to get a pity party or a bunch of sympathy, but to simply admit that I need God and I can't do anything without Him. When that song came on the radio, I listened to the chorus. It is so true. God will not fail me. Even when it feels like we have done all we can and even when we feel like throwing in the towel, He knows the desires of our heart, and He will never fail us. On days when I feel like I have no hope left at all, I need to remember the words of this song. I know that God allowed that song to be played for me. I was in the right place at the right time to listen, and pour out my heart to God.
"ALWAYS"
I was standing in the pouring rain one dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold when she caught my eye
Her face was taught and her eyes were filled, and to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph and my heart just stopped inside
She said, “He would’ve been three today
I miss his smile, I miss his face”
What was I supposed to say, but
CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always
He was living in a broken world, dreaming of a home
His heart was barely keeping pace when I found him all alone
Remembering the way he felt when his daddy said goodbye
Fighting just to keep the tears and the anger locked inside
He’s barely holding onto faith
But deliverance is on its way, cause
CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always
Friend, I don’t know where you are and I don’t know where you’ve been
Maybe you’re fighting for your life or just about to throw the towel in
But if you’re crying out for mercy, if there’s no hope left at all
If you’ve given everything you’ve got and you’re still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on, cause
I believe always, always
Our savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
Always, always, He will be with you always
Have you ever wanted something so bad, and it seemed as if you would never get it? If you know me and Will, you know that that thing we want so badly is a child. Sometimes it seems as if we will never ever get the opportunity to be a parent. When I hear about teens getting pregnant, or when I see moms with 5 kids and 1 on the way, not being able to take care of the children they already have, or when I hear of mom's that are pregnant when they can't even take the responsibility to take care of themselves...it makes me so angry and hurt. I have found myself angry at God many time. Why is He giving all these unfit mothers the gift that I have wanted since I was a little girl?!?!? Why is it we get all these adoption referrals, and they all fall through??? WHY!!?? This has really been a hard thing for both of us lately. I say all that not to get a pity party or a bunch of sympathy, but to simply admit that I need God and I can't do anything without Him. When that song came on the radio, I listened to the chorus. It is so true. God will not fail me. Even when it feels like we have done all we can and even when we feel like throwing in the towel, He knows the desires of our heart, and He will never fail us. On days when I feel like I have no hope left at all, I need to remember the words of this song. I know that God allowed that song to be played for me. I was in the right place at the right time to listen, and pour out my heart to God.
Easter 2009
I love Easter! I love Easter not only for the family time, and the good food, or all the goodies and candy. I love Easter because I know that my Savior is ALIVE! He died for my sins. I most certainly did not deserve it. Did any of us really deserve that??? But, hallelujah He didn't stay in the grave! It is so comforting to know that I can go to Him at anytime, morning, noon or night and He is there listening to me. He hears me when I am on the mountaintop, and He hears me when I have hit rock bottom. How do I know this??? I know this because my God rose from the dead! That is what Easter is all about!
We went to the early service and it was amazing to see the many people that were there! We were 2 away from having 500 people! So exciting! Pastor Mike preached a wonderful message. God really spoke through him. It was so neat to hear the testomonies of "modern day" Bible characters. After the service, we dashed home because I knew there were potatoes waiting to be baked, cheese to be sliced, rolls to be risen, and ham to be sliced. My family came over for lunch. It was a wonderful time together. I handed out Easter baskets full of treats, candy, and trinkets. My family even surprised me with one. :) After lunch, what do you think came next????? Well, after the unbutton-ing of the pants because of being sooooo full......next came the much needed Sunday nap!!!! We slept for a good 3 hours, and it was time to go to church again. This time, my in-laws were meeting us there. They went back to New York the next day. After church, they took us to get some dinner and AMAZING hawaiian shaved ice at Dairy Dream in Albany. We had a good time.
As I think about what I have learned this Easter, I learned all over again how much my God loves me. That is something that I forget easily. I mess up so many times it seems like, and fail at so many things, and I wonder how anybody, let alone... someone so perfect, could love someone like me. I learned that God rose again for me and for you. He loved us so much. Now that is unconditional love!
We went to the early service and it was amazing to see the many people that were there! We were 2 away from having 500 people! So exciting! Pastor Mike preached a wonderful message. God really spoke through him. It was so neat to hear the testomonies of "modern day" Bible characters. After the service, we dashed home because I knew there were potatoes waiting to be baked, cheese to be sliced, rolls to be risen, and ham to be sliced. My family came over for lunch. It was a wonderful time together. I handed out Easter baskets full of treats, candy, and trinkets. My family even surprised me with one. :) After lunch, what do you think came next????? Well, after the unbutton-ing of the pants because of being sooooo full......next came the much needed Sunday nap!!!! We slept for a good 3 hours, and it was time to go to church again. This time, my in-laws were meeting us there. They went back to New York the next day. After church, they took us to get some dinner and AMAZING hawaiian shaved ice at Dairy Dream in Albany. We had a good time.
As I think about what I have learned this Easter, I learned all over again how much my God loves me. That is something that I forget easily. I mess up so many times it seems like, and fail at so many things, and I wonder how anybody, let alone... someone so perfect, could love someone like me. I learned that God rose again for me and for you. He loved us so much. Now that is unconditional love!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Lazy Saturday
Well, today is kind of a lazy Saturday. Will is working, so that always makes the days go by slowly. He took a day off after we got back from vacation, so that is why he works today. We also are doing respite care for a foster child. We have had her several times. She is just so fun and energetic. I would love to have a little girl! Last night, we watched a movie, and painted nails. Oh so much fun! I will however say that this little 2 year old girl sleeps a long time! We put her to bed at 11:30 last night and it is 11:44 right now, and she is still sleeping soundly! We must have worn her out. I have got some cleaning to do today, and maybe go tanning, and then maybe somewhere for dinner. Not sure. I love that the sun is shining. The sun helps me have a good day. Well, I must go...I here the little one up now. :)
Friday, April 3, 2009
Spring Break 2009
Thursday night (Friday Morning), March 19th, at midnight, we started the long journey to our destination in Daytona Beach, FL. After packing and anxiously awaiting this vacation for several months, we were finally on our way! When we got to Georgia, we stopped at Shoney's for a brunch. It is tradition. We stop at a Shoney's every year. Finally, around 5:00 on Friday evening, we arrived at our resort in Daytona Beach. We were all so tired, but yet so excited! The resort was beautiful! We got checked in, and were excited to find out that our room had a balcony overlooking the ocean, pools, and lazy river. What a glorious sight! The night ended with dinner at Johnny Rocket's (way over priced!!!) and some comedy relief watching karaoke at the hotel. The week was full of fun, relaxtion, family time, and appreciation for God's wonderful creation. There is absolutely nothing like getting up in the morning and watching the sun rise over the ocean. How great is our God! It was also fun to not have to cook and going out for every meal. It's vacation! It was hard to come back to dreary Indiana, but as I look back on the 10 days we were there, we made so many more memories to hold on to. This is a vacation that I will never forget! Here are just a couple pictures of our trip.
The Beginning
Well, I have never blogged before, so this is my very first time doing so. I hope to keep you updated on our lives through this, and to add any funny things or sad things that happen.
I currently am a stay at home housewife and a childcare provider. I do childcare from our home, and I love it. It will be 1 year in May. Some days are more rough than others, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. When kids come into the picture, it will allow me to stay home with them AND bring in a paycheck. Will is still working at the FOP call center. He has worked there a good 4 years now. It isn't the "funnest" (don't think that is a word:) job to have, but he does a great job at it. We still live in Muncie. In May of 2008, we moved from the little hickish town of Gaston to a cute little house in Muncie. We love it here. God has blessed us and we are very thankful.
I currently am a stay at home housewife and a childcare provider. I do childcare from our home, and I love it. It will be 1 year in May. Some days are more rough than others, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. When kids come into the picture, it will allow me to stay home with them AND bring in a paycheck. Will is still working at the FOP call center. He has worked there a good 4 years now. It isn't the "funnest" (don't think that is a word:) job to have, but he does a great job at it. We still live in Muncie. In May of 2008, we moved from the little hickish town of Gaston to a cute little house in Muncie. We love it here. God has blessed us and we are very thankful.
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